4, 2005-Couldn't avoid big babyness
Well, I certainly had an eventful day yesterday. Saw my peri and
we talked about the contractions. He said based on the fact that
I'm already having contractions, there is a "reasonable possibility"
that I will deliver early. Of course, there's still a reasonable
possibility that I won't deliver early. He said once Braxton Hicks
contractions start they tend to be persistent. Of course, now that
I've told two doctors about it, they've let up. Of course.
Also found out that Maya is weighing in at a whopping 6 lb. 15
oz. OK, I shouldn't say whopping, but that is the 90th percentile.
I expressed my concern again and the doc said that basically there's
nothing to worry about. That we're judging percentiles based on
1970s data and the fact remains that babies are just getting bigger
every decade. He said he rarely sees babies born in the 10th or
20th percentile. He also said that since I delivered the other two
vaginally I should be able to go that route with Maya.
Not to mention, I keep telling myself, that there's an enormous
margin of error on the guesstimated weight. I'm not worried, but
that didn't stop me from standing in front of the mirror last night
and looking at my belly wondering if that looked like 7 lb. of baby!
So peri said that they don't do anything at this point to stop
labor, but that he'd like me to get to at least 37 weeks, which
is two weeks from now. I don't think that meant he thought I would
go before then, he was just saying that 37 weeks is considered full
term and he'd like to see me go that far. Not that I have that much
control over it, but you know.
So I told my regular OB about my conversation with my peri and
she said it probably wouldn't be a bad idea for me to deliver early
since they are guesstimating baby so big already. She also checked
my cervix, which was closed and soft. So all good on that front
at this point.
Also saw my hematologist yesterday. Very long story short, I started
on heparin, even though Dr. Bala had said I shouldn't take heparin
since that's what I was on when I developed a blood clot. I assured
him that I had taken it with two other pregnancies with no problems,
so it was obviously a dosage issue. He said, well, with people in
your situation we usually stick them in the hospital for three weeks
on a heparin IV and I was like, um, I don't think so. So he finally
agreed to let me do heparin sub-q, thank God. I took the first dose
this morning and had my blood levels checked at noon. Upper end
of normal is 36 and I was at 35.5. So they upped me from 15,000
units twice a day to 20,000 units twice a day and I have to have
the level rechecked on Monday.
I'm confident that I'm being well monitored and I'm really not
worried about another blood clot. I'm actually in a good mood today
and was yesterday for the first time in ages. It feels kind of weird,
but really good.
What also feels weird is that all day today I didn't have as many
contractions as I had been having and I felt a little disappointed.
Of course, at like 5 p.m. when I left work I started having them
again. Even though the doctor said "reasonable possibility"
and I am really, really trying not to get my hopes up, I guess I
really hoped in the back of my mind that that possibility would
become reality. I think that's also why I'm in such a good mood
today because I think I'm half-way expecting to go early now. Even
though I'm really trying not to. But you know how you can get songs
stuck in your head? Well, I've got "reasonable possibility"
stuck in my head.
9, 2005-Stick a fork in me; I'm done!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm tired of being pregnant.
I feel so lousy today and did last night as well. I was upstairs
getting ready for bed by 7:30 last night, which I never do even
if I want to. I could have been asleep by 8:30 probably, but I stayed
awake until then so I could check my blood sugar from dinner. But
as soon as I did that I turned my light off and said a prayer and
A lot of times when I feel yucky at night I usually feel better
in the morning. But I don't today. I thought this was all pregnancy
related, but it occurred to me this morning that I could actually
be coming down with something, which would totally SUCK! Of course,
I did Google some things yesterday wondering if how I'm feeling
has anything at all to do with the onset of labor. No such luck.
I keep thinking that I'm not sure I can feel like this for another
three weeks. I don't think it will last that long, but it certainly
could. ugh. I also keep thinking that no matter how much I want
this baby to be here, I need to wait at least another week so that
I'm 37 weeks and will be considered full term. But, as nearly everyone
in my life will attest, I am not the poster child for patience.
2:30 p.m. -I'm having lots of contractions today. More than usual.
Which is fine with me. They don't hurt and haven't really increased
in intensity. Well, I take that back. They don't hurt, but I think
some have increased slightly in intensity. Still nothing to call
the doctor about, but it is a change. And the fact that I felt lousy
this morning and last night just makes me wonder a little. I'm feeling
much better now, but still not 100% by any means.
I go to the doctor tomorrow and I'm expecting them to check my
cervix again. I'll be interested to know if my cervix has changed
at all. I'm doubting it, but still wondering.
17, 2005-Physical toll
My friend Kym called me today and said that I looked great when
she saw me yesterday at church, but she could tell that I looked
done. And I thought, man, if other people are looking at me like
And this morning the doctor said something about how
I didn't look as spunky or something as usual. I have felt off and
on irritated and fine all day.
For a while today I was really thinking that I could make it another
two and a half weeks. And for much of tonight I was thinking that
I wouldn't mind at all if this baby came right this second! In all
actuality, I think I'd be happy waiting until after Turkey Day.
I really enjoy Thanksgiving and don't really want to miss it. I
think I'm just having one of those days when I'm overly anxious
and overly ready.
And I think another thing that sort of washed out my mood today
is that my doc checked my cervix today and it was "long and
closed." Which is fine, really, because I'm 37 weeks and baby
probably does need to cook a little longer. But I guess I really
felt like I would be just a little dilated since I've been having
contractions for almost three freaking weeks now! And I don't mind
the contractions because it sort of helps me focus on the end. Does
that make sense?
Ok, so I'm also getting really edgy with a lot of stuff at home.
I was nesting so much the past few weeks and it sort of all stopped
suddenly and maybe all that energy is gone and being channeled into
a bad mood. I don't know. I'm babbling. I think I need to go to
bed. It's 8:30, tomorrow's Friday and a very busy day at work. Mom
and Dad leave from Phoenix tomorrow to drive back to St. Louis.
They'll be home Sunday and will then only be two hours away should
I go into labor before I'm scheduled to be induced. I'm totally
babbling right now and I think I just want to go lie down. Actually,
I want another glass of chocolate milk, but I'm not sure I should
do that. I was 62 after dinner, which I was pretty surprised at
actually, so I drank some milk so I wouldn't go low overnight. It
was very yummy!
Maybe what I'm feeling is restlessness. Like cabin fever maybe.
21, 2005-Come out, come out wherever you are
I'm done. I'm ready. Let's do this RIGHT FREAKING NOW! I keep saying
that ultimately I would like to wait at least until the end of this
week because it's Thanksgiving and there are lots of fun things
going on this week and probably in reality that's what I want, but
when I feel lousy mentally and physically I just want to pop!
And maybe that's actually not when it's best to go into labor.
Of course, I'm sure my mood would lift knowing that George is definitely
on her way!
I just know today that my brain is not all there. I'm not doing
the best job I know that I'm capable of, I'm very tired (of course
I probably overdid things this weekend seeing as I cleaned the upstairs
for a good three hours yesterday, including scrubbing the tub and
the bathroom floor!), and I keep scrutinizing every little pain
today and sensation and all that.
I don't know. I'm pissy about our finances, which isn't new and
I guess I always get like this when I start thinking about our finances,
but I can't help it.
And I want to eat. Copious amounts of chocolate. A hot fudge sundae
would be absolutely incredible right now. Maybe we'll go out tonight
since Megan has ballet until 6 and I'm not entirely sure I want
to cook. We'll see how things change in the next three hours, I
guess. Was planning to cook something quick like spaghetti, but
that doesn't sound very enticing right now. Ugh!
OK, and I guess I'm a little nervous/anxious about my doctor's
appointment tomorrow. I'm due to have Maya's weight, etc., measured.
Three weeks ago she was 6 lb. 15 oz. and I guess if she stays on
the same path she'll be close to 10 lb. Maybe they'll say she's
so big we can't wait two weeks to induce, so let's do it now. Wishful
thinking, but it could happen. Then I really wouldn't have a Thanksgiving
because we'd likely be discharged on Thursday. Well, whatever. It
really changes from day to day whether or not I want to wait until
Dec. 5 or not. I guess the "decision" isn't really up
22, 2005-Happy with weight guesstimate
Well, I of course wasn't induced today. Baby was guessed at 7 lb.
12 oz., which is over the 90th percentile, but I'm actually sort
of pleased with it considering she's gained around 2 lb. between
all of the other measurements and this time didn't even gain a pound.
But I still asked the doctor if we should go ahead and induce early
instead of waiting another two weeks and he said no because it's
better to have a big baby with no respiratory problems than a smaller
baby with possible respiratory problems. He said sure we run a higher
"risk" of c-section, but baby is still likely to be healthier
if she waits a bit. He said he'd welcome a spontaneous labor at
this point, though.
I'm having one of those days when I think I can wait another two
weeks. So that's good. Mom and I figured today that in order for
baby to never have her birthday on Thanksgiving, she has to be born
on or after Nov. 29 because the latest Thanksgiving would be is
Nov. 28. So that's a week from today.
Anyway. I had long train of thought for things I wanted to say
today and now that train has left the station. I'm seriously considering
a DQ run if we don't have any ice cream in the freezer, which I
don't think we do. Maybe just a glass of chocolate milk. Ho hum.
26, 2005-A six-year-old's premonition
I'm finally dilated!!! After four weeks of Braxton Hicks contractions
(my dad calls them Briggs and Stratton!!) I'm finally getting somewhere.
I went to the hospital this morning so my doctor could check me
out. I haven't seen her in two weeks and won't see her next week
and then five days after that I'm supposed to be induced. So she
just didn't want to get in there having not seen me for three weeks.
So, non stress test was fine-I had three contractions on the monitor-and
when she checked my cervix I was at one to two, she said. So that
made me feel good.
The absolute weirdest thing happened at dinner. I was having a
contraction and Marc asked what was wrong and I told him I was having
one and that was basically the end of that. And a few seconds later,
my six year old son says "It's going to be a long night."
Marc and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows like how the
heck did he know that?! It came out of the blue, it's not like we
were talking about this stuff at all. Just acknowledged that I was
having a contraction. And Marcus doesn't even know what a contraction
is or what it means or what it leads to. So I asked Marcus why he
said that and he of course thought we were joking around with him
and didn't really have anything to say. So I said to Marc that we're
going to be laughing so much if tonight really is a long night.
I don't think it will be, but it was so funny that he said that.
We've always said Marcus was an old soul. Don't know if that means
he has any insight into tonight's events, but whatever.
Anyway. So the kids and I had Sonic for lunch and then came home
and got the Christmas decorations up. Fortunately we already had
an extra stocking and stocking holder for Maya. The holder doesn't
match, but I've already decided that I'm going to hit the after
Christmas sales at Hobby Lobby and maybe one of the hardware stores.
I know there are some stocking holders and other decorations that
I wouldn't mind having from Hobby Lobby. There's stocking holders
there that I want and then we'll all have matching ones. And I'd
like to find an artificial tree that's super cheap. Our first year
here I got a tiny tree at an after Christmas sale for like $10,
but it's only like two feet tall. So I'm ready for a bigger tree.
I'd love to have a real tree every year, but around here all you
can find is pine trees and I can't stand pine trees; I want a fir
tree and I'd have to drive a good 45 minutes to get one and I'm
just not sure I'm willing to do that. Plus, when you think about
it, a fake one is a heck of an investment up front, but it lasts
Anyway. I'm sure that I'll wake up tomorrow morning like I do every
morning still pregnant and not in labor. It's funny to think, though,
about Marcus's little statement.
27, 2005-Ho hum...still pregnant
of course all last evening I kept thinking "when's it going
to happen??" I apparently put a lot of stock into what my six
year old said. It's funny to think about how I reacted to that,
but I guess at 38 weeks 3 days you'll do almost anything to help
the time pass and help to get the baby here.
And, of course, I woke up this morning still pregnant and not in
labor. But the kids actually slept late this morning, which was
TO DECEMBER ENTRIES