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Michelle's Journal


December 1, 2005-Patience is not one of my virtues

UGH! Could this day possibly go any slower??!! I'm four days from my scheduled induction and I feel like this day is absolutely crawling. I don't have that much to do at work so that's not helping. But also, today is my dad's birthday and we were all kind of hoping Maya would make her debut today. It's only 10:23 a.m., so of course she still can, but I'm really doubting it. Marc and I tried a home remedy last night (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) thinking that might help get things moving, but, obviously since I'm still at work, that didn't happen.

I've waited this long, so I know I can wait until Monday, but geez it's gonna be a slow wait. Can't do my normal weekend grocery shopping trip since we're literally out of money. Will have to find some other way to occupy my time this weekend. Actually, there are finally two movies out that Marc and I want to see, so I could rent those. And I think the Polar Express is out now, too, so I could get that for the kids. Of course, that requires money, but I think I can scrape together $6 from somewhere to get a couple movies.

Also have some Christmas crafts for Marcus to work on. It would probably be better to work on them before Maya comes. So we'll do that this weekend. Oh, and it's supposed to rain and snow all day Saturday, so that will certainly keep us occupied. I guess a little house cleanup will be in order, too, although, I did most of that during my intense nesting period. But there's still some clutter hanging around-like my foot-high stack of mail I have yet to go through. And I've been meaning to get back to some crafts, so I could do that, too. Will just have to be creative to find things to keep my mind busy.

I never really had to deal with this long of a wait with the other two. I mean, I was induced, but I hadn't had an induction date scheduled almost from the beginning. I was due Feb. 5 with Marcus and that was a Saturday. So the next Monday, Feb. 7, I had a doc appointment and she decided to induce. So it was only one day really with Marcus knowing when "the day" would be. And with Megan, I was only 37 weeks and 3 days when she was born because I got gallstones. So the induction was kind of a last minute, let's-do-it-now kind of thing. So I've had Dec. 5 hanging over my head for just about forever it seems. Which is perfectly fine, but I've done all the busy work I can do and now I'm just waiting. Does that make sense?

Anyway. I'm feeling good today. It's absolutely frigid outside with a touch of snow on the grass and cars. It's pretty. Supposed to be in the 30s for about the next week, so it's a good thing I have lots of warm blankets and snugglies to wrap Maya in for her trip home.

And I keep reminding myself that this is likely my last pregnancy so I should really be savoring the end of it, which I am, but we're just so anxious to meet this little girl. And as I've mentioned before, if you looked up the word patience in Webster's you definitely wouldn't find my smiling mug staring back at you.

December 2, 2005-Trying to keep busy

I had several "real" contractions last night versus the Braxton Hicks contractions I've been having since Halloween. We even started timing them and I called the doctor to ask some questions. Called my backup babysitter, too, to put her on notice that I might go last night. And, of course, I didn't. But I feel like at least we were prepared. Or sort of felt prepared.

It was a little hard to distinguish between the BH contractions and a real one, but the way I figured it was that the BH contractions generally just make my belly tight. During the real ones, I get pressure throughout my rectum and cervix area. They're more intense in terms of where the pressure is. I even skipped my blood thinner last night thinking it was possible that I would be in the hospital. I considered skipping it this morning, but I didn't want to skip two in a row. I just realized, too, that I'm supposed to have some blood work today and it will certainly reflect the fact that I didn't take my shot last night. Hmmm…wonder if I should skip the test and call the nurse. I'm thinking yes.

I've had one or two real contractions this morning already. Nothing for about 45 minutes though. I just had a BH a few minutes ago, but nothing significant for a while. My sugars were higher than I expected yesterday, too. And my finger's been twitching for two days. AND, I have this new pain in my pubic area that makes it really hard to walk or pick up my legs for anything. AND a headache for the past two days. I could just be falling apart, but it could all be leading to something. I have to check my post-breakfast sugar here in about 15 min, so I'll be interested to see what that is.

Man, I just want to eat. I've had a serious case of the junk food munchies for like three days. I resisted this morning, though. I almost stopped by the grocery store and got cookies or the gas station for some candy bars, but I didn't. Partly because I can't walk so well. I'm sure that if I could walk better I would have gotten the cookies or something. Of course, I would have devoured them all instead of sharing with my co-workers! So bad. So, so bad. So I got a soda instead this morning. Of course, I kept thinking that I really need to be drinking water to keep myself hydrated, but the soda sounded good since I didn't get any junk food.

It's really weird this feeling that I have. On one hand I know what I'm getting into because this is the third time around, but at the same time I still have that holy shit feeling in the back of my head. I think I'm doing some of the same things I did when I was pregnant with Marcus…just have this really idealistic view of how the world will be when the baby comes. That I won't be sleep deprived or cranky or any of that. I'm trying to remind myself that I WILL, in fact, be crabby and very tired. I think I'm trying to convince myself that I'll get over the fatigue because I know I have to do some serious freelance writing while I'm on leave to make up for my lost income. Also really need to look for some alternative publications to write for since I'm just not making enough money doing what I'm doing.

December 8, 2005-Maya is here!

You're four days old today and I can still remember Monday pretty well (ha!), so I'm writing it down before I forget.

Mom drove in from St. Louis on Sunday afternoon so she could take care of Marcus and Megan while Marc and I drove to the hospital. Surprisingly, I slept pretty well Sunday night. My alarm went off around 4 a.m. and by 4:45 a.m. we were off. It was bitter cold Monday morning and I don't think it got out of the 20s all day. Snowed that night a little, too.

En route, I checked my blood sugar around 5 a.m. and it was 72. I was floored, but suspected it was nerves. I had been 81 Sunday night after dinner and I had some milk before bed, which is normal for me. But then to be 72 at 5 a.m. was almost unheard of for me. Anyway. So I ate as much of my peanut butter sandwich as I could and drank some water.

We arrived at the hospital just after 5:30 a.m. They got us into a room and started the IV, asked questions and so forth. Even though my educator had told me to take my Lantus that morning, I had postponed until we got there because I had taken it so late Sunday night. The nurses said I shouldn't take it, so I didn't. We checked my sugar around two hours post and I was only 101. Again, absolutely floored that I wasn't higher, but I suspect it had something to do with nerves and anxiety and all that.

So they started the pitocin around 6:30ish and I was handling the contractions pretty well. They were increasing in intensity, but still nothing I couldn't really manage. My doctor came in around 9ish and broke my water and it was an absolute flood! And with every contraction it was like she had broken my water all over again there was so much fluid! So that explains a little about why I was so uncomfortable-dragging around some extra fluid.

So the doctor said there were two c-sections scheduled for that morning-9 a.m. and noon-and suspected I would be ready for an epidural shortly after the 9 a.m. section. And she was right. The anesthesiologist came in around 10ish or a little after. I was starting to get really uncomfortable with each contraction and not really being able to talk through it. I suspected that getting the epidural was going to be painful while dealing with the contractions and it was. I don't remember crying while getting the epidural with Megan, but I cried with this one. The nurse was incredible and let me squeeze her fingers and didn't complain at all!

The nurse had checked my cervix prior to getting the epidural and I was at 4 cm (I was at 2 cm when we got to the hospital, so I was making progress). Within about five minutes or so after getting the epidural the contractions were really intense and I was really having a hard time with them because the epidural hadn't taken full effect yet. The nurse checked me and I was at 7 cm and stretchy. She started really moving quickly to get things ready and told another nurse to get the doctor ASAP.

I told them that I felt like I had to poop and that I was really feeling the contractions in my rectum. When I was fully dilated I could feel it. I knew it was time. It was only a few minutes after the nurse had checked me when I was at 7 cm and I was already fully dilated.

So they got my legs up in the stirrups and got me all ready, etc., and I started pushing. I was still in so much pain and so uncomfortable that I couldn't really focus. I felt like my pushing was more effective with the other kids because I wasn't so uncomfortable. But I got focused and pushed well. I didn't go for the full 10 count because it hurt so bad. But the nurses and Mom and Marc were all incredible. I pushed with four contractions and she was born!

The cord was around her neck (all three of my kids had the cord around their necks) and they cut it even before her body was out. The doctor put her on my tummy and I was so happy that she was finally here. They whisked her away pretty quickly, though, and put her under the warmer. She was pretty blue, but came around.

Overall, I was in labor exactly five hours. We all thought she was going to come quickly, but I don't think anyone really expected her to come that quickly. I suspect that it might have had something to do with the fact that I'd been having contractions for five weeks. I'm not a doctor, though, so who knows. I'm sure it also had to do with the fact that this was baby number three.

I didn't tear or need an episiotomy, so no stitches, either! We spent about three hours in the delivery room. The nurse catheterized me while I still had some epidural in me and then several hours later she had me get up and walk to the bathroom so she could help me clean up and so forth.

The next morning, my doctor said I could go home that day instead of waiting until the next day. I think she said it had something to do with the labor going quickly and easily and that I didn't need stitches AND that I had already been up that morning by myself to shower.

So we came home Tuesday afternoon and I've really done well for the most part. I've gotten a little edgy with the older kids, but it's mostly because they want to be on top of Maya all the time, especially when I'm nursing her or when she's trying to sleep. I'm trying to remember that they've waited a long time to meet her and just want to see her. It's hard, though. But in terms of depression, I have none! It's only been four days, so it could come back any time, but I stayed on the Prozac throughout the pregnancy and am still on it so I think that should keep things on an even keel.

I keep feeling like I have so much to do and I just don't know when to start. I want to start writing again. Hopefully I can get one interview in tomorrow to polish off a story I started on a few weeks ago. So I'll be happy to have the house to myself. Of course, the baby was a little crabby tonight, but hopefully that was just a gas bubble or something because she's sleeping pretty good right now. Of course, we haven't put her down in the last like four hours.

Anyway. Oh, my sugars were good throughout labor. I was 101 and then in the 80s I think and I got down to 66 and ate two pieces of candy and got back up to right around 100 I think. Maya's first blood sugar was 28, which is low. They want the baby to be above 40. I had just nursed her, thankfully, and then they gave her some formula and sugar water. Her next sugar was 59. So all is well in that area.

Would you like to tell Michelle congrats or how you liked her journal? Here is the link to the birth announcement in the forum: Click Here

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