Michelle's Journal

JULY

July 7, 2005-Two donuts and chocolate milk - justified!
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Leave it to a food-addicted, pregnant diabetic to justify eating donuts! Ok, bear with me on this one. A couple weeks ago we switched my insulin injection from bedtime to morning. Well, even with normal breakfast, but no walk in the morning, my one hour post readings were off the board-140s and 160s. So I started walking again and that brought the numbers to within range. Gave me extra motivation to walk in the mornings.

Well, I decided to switch things up a bit and had some yogurt for breakfast instead of my normal half peanut butter sandwich and milk. Numbers were much, much better with the yogurt. Numbers were even within range one day when I didn't walk and had the yogurt for breakfast. Go figure, but whatever, right?

Well, yesterday my post walk number was 122, which is high considering I'm usually around 105 after my walk. And two hours post I was still at 105ish. Could have just been the day, but I thought it was what I had eaten. So this morning I had the half peanut butter sandwich with water instead of milk. Ok, we were out of milk, but I had planned to forego the milk anyway. I was 83 fasting and 88 after my walk. So seems to me that too much milk early in the morning might be giving me high numbers. Two hours post I was 77.

Not bad, but I knew I was heading for a serious low if I didn't have a big, big snack this morning. With numbers in the 100s after my walk and a snack around 9 a.m., I sometimes hit the 60s around 11:30 a.m. or so. Well, I sort of wanted something sweet anyway, but sort of didn't because I knew I had at least started the day off right. But then I really didn't want to get into the 50s or 60s this morning. I don't think I've ever been lower than 61, but I really didn't want to go any lower.

So I went to the grocery store and got two donuts and some chocolate milk. Hey, I'm being proactive, preventing a serious low, right? Like I said, leave it to a food-addicted, pregnant diabetic to justify eating! Well, of course now I have a slight headache, feel fairly nauseous and am dying for a nap. Then again, I am pregnant, therefore I'm pretty much always tired and nauseous.

July 12, 2005-Singing in the rain
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I'm quite proud of myself today. I walked outside in the rain this morning and didn't take my abbreviated route. I think, though, that had I known it was raining when my alarm went off I probably would have stayed in bed, but as it was I didn't realize it was raining until I was already eating breakfast.

I grabbed the poncho I bought after the last time I walked in the rain. It was winter then and I was just as dedicated and determined as I was this morning. Only I carried an umbrella then. It was pretty difficult to deal with both the umbrella and the dog. So that's when I decided to buy a poncho. I haven't walked in the rain since then. I don't know if it just hasn't been raining that early in the morning or if I've stayed in bed on those days. Even though I had the poncho on, it didn't cover my entire head. I think next time I'll wear a hat, too.

OK, so there are more days than not now where I feel like eating is simply a chore, something I have to do. I used to enjoy eating, which is obvious by my size, but I don't think so anymore. And it's not like I miss all the bad food because I allow myself to eat that stuff more than I should; I guess it's just that eating isn't fun anymore. It's just something I have to do to keep from getting low blood sugar. Although, I must admit, I'm still motivated by good blood sugar numbers. My 90-day average is 104, which I'm very proud of. I still have my days where I have to eat bad all day, but I'm good for the most part.

And now I'm getting terrible sinus headaches on a daily basis. I know it's allergy related, but Marc keeps saying that maybe I have a sinus infection. For a while there I was only getting the headaches in the afternoon and I sort of associated it with being after lunch and being tired and all that. Well, the past several days I've been getting them in the morning, too. I'm taking Sudafed, Tylenol and/or Sudafed Sinus Headache, but I hate taking so much medicine. I guess I'll have to break down and call the doctor.

Speaking of doctor…I have an ultrasound on Thursday. I'll be 19 weeks exactly. I'm dying to know if George is a boy or a girl. I will be so disappointed if they don't even look, but I think they will. Marc's planning to go with me, so we got a sitter for the kids so we can go alone and not have to worry about corralling them or entertaining them or anything. I think Marcus would find it fun and interesting to watch that, but both kids together are just a disaster waiting to happen in that situation. So we'll have some time alone, which is good. 8 p.m. - I'm feeling much bigger than I am. I just have that all over pregnant feeling. Which isn't bad all the time. I had Marc take a belly picture of me today. I'm 18 weeks 5 days and I think I look like I'm six months pregnant. I know some of that belly belongs to me and not George, but I still think I'm pretty big. So now I'm worried that George is too big. I still can't give myself a break. I think in all honesty that we're both fine, but I know that I look bigger than almost five months. We'll see how he's measuring on Thursday. Well, I was 85 after dinner, which was a bit of a shock, so I'm off to eat a snack (probably ice cream) and then off to bed. I want to go to bed right now, but I really don't want to go to bed with my blood sugar this low.

July 15, 2005-Be patient!
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OK, so we had an ultrasound yesterday and Marc and I were so psyched because we both really thought we were going to be able to find out if George is a boy or a girl. We both thought this was the level II ultrasound, but apparently not. Anyway, so one of the first things I say to the tech is that we're dying to know the sex of this baby. She says the doctor likes to wait until 22 weeks (I'm just 19 weeks). We talked back and forth about it for a minute and then I asked if she would at least look. I'm not sure what she said, but made it fairly clear that the doctor doesn't like them to look before 22 weeks to eliminate errors.

Then, she started looking at normal stuff and said the baby's breech anyway so it would be difficult to tell. Breech!? Breech?! What the heck? That hadn't even crossed my mind as something I would have to deal with. Big babyness and excess amniotic fluid and other diabetic issues, sure, I was sort of prepared to deal with that, but breech! What the heck is that all about? Ok, ok, so I'm only 19 weeks and George has puhlenty of time to squirm around and change positions, but still, as soon as we walked out of the doctor's office, I looked down at my tummy and said George you better turn over!

The good news, though, is that George is measuring exactly right for gestational age. She measured an arm and leg bone, his head and tummy. He weighs about 11 oz. (not quite as big as a soda!), which is exactly right for 19 weeks. So we have a very healthy baby so far and that's exactly what we wanted. The doctor told me to just be patient for another two or three weeks (I said my next ultrasound isn't until Aug. 16, which is five weeks) and we'll be able to find out. I told him that patience is not one of my virtues, but that I would try!

July 29, 2005-Stress sucks!
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Ugh! I have inherited my mother's allergies. I noticed this significant problem last summer. Itchy, runny nose; itchy throat; sneezing. You name it, I've got the classic summer allergy symptoms. Except this summer, I'm also inflicted with sinus headaches that run down the back of my neck much like a tension headache and that also feel better when I put my hands over my eyes much like a migraine headache.

So, I called my OB's office and talked to the nurse and explained what was going on. She said to go to my primary because my doctor was out of town. Primary says it's OK to continue taking Sudafed and Tylenol. So I do. About 10 days later, I go to my OB for a regular four week checkup and tell her about the sinus headaches and the Sudafed. She says it's not good to take Sudafed twice a day every day (which is about what I was doing) for the duration of the pregnancy, which is what I figured. She suggested Claritin, but I've tried that and didn't like it. So she prescribed Zyrtec.

I get some samples from my primary's office because I don't want to fill and pay for a prescription that I'm only going to use a few of if I don't like it. So I took the Zyrtec yesterday and I was literally amazed that my symptoms practically disappeared. Although I was quite drowsy around mid-morning, I hardly blew my nose and there was no sign of a sinus headache. I was actually pretty shocked.

Well, this morning when I woke up I was a little congested, which isn't all that abnormal, but I also had a slight headache. I took the Zyrtec again around 6:30 a.m., which is about an hour after I woke up. I'm getting a little jaded with the medicine, though, because I've been blowing my nose and I still have that slight headache today. Of course, neither is to the extreme that it was without the Zyrtec, but this is only day two! I have enough to last me through Tuesday, I think. So I'll see how the weekend goes and decide if we should try something else maybe on Monday. Mom says I need a decongestant not an anti-histamine. I really don't know what I need. I just know that these headaches are really debilitating and annoying.

So anyway. I've been so emotional the last two days. I think I'm really learning what stress does to me. I got so pissy at Marc yesterday for the stupidest things. And I was barking at the kids. They were being little rugrats, but I just bit their heads off instead of trying to deal with it calmly. It's a work-related thing, so I know once I get this project done I'll settle down a little. But the stress has also wreaked havoc on my eating. I've had fast food and candy almost every day this week. I was prepared to grab a bag of M&M's and-AND-a candy bar this morning on my way to work, but I didn't. I still want those things and still tempted to use the $5 I have in my wallet to go out to lunch, but I'm not gonna. One day this week my fasting blood sugar was 107 (I know!) after I had had Chinese for dinner the night before. (I figured it was the sweet and sour sauce.) This morning I was at 96, I think, and yesterday I was like 89, which are both on the high side for me. I'm usually right around 80 if I eat right. But I had Sonic for dinner last night. I hadn't planned to, but that's how it ended up.

Anyway, I've just been on the verge of tears for two days and I know it's just a pregnant thing. I think I'd be able to handle the stress better if my hormones weren't raging! I'm so looking forward to the weekend, but I've made a very long list of things that I want to accomplish this weekend. It won't happen, but I guess it's nice to have goals. I need to go to bed at like 6 p.m. tonight. Maybe that will help improve my mood, too. I was telling a friend yesterday that I love going for my walks and I feel so good after I do it, but getting up at 5:20 a.m. every morning really takes its toll on me by the end of the week. I usually have a good amount of energy on Saturday morning, but by the afternoon I'm spent. I'm ready for a nap! Last weekend I tried not to take a nap because I was tired of sleeping away half my weekend, but I got so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open. I know it's good to nap, I know my body needs it, but I just feel like there's so much stuff I can't accomplish during the week that I have to leave it for the weekend. And half of it isn't even fun stuff, it's doing laundry or cleaning or something silly like that.

3 p.m.-Oh my God! I can't believe I just ate an entire bag of popcorn! I was standing in front of the microwave and even though I knew there would be a ton of unpopped kernels at the bottom, I took it out anyway and said to myself that it was OK because I wouldn't eat the whole thing anyway. And I just couldn't stop. I wasn't really hungry but I certainly didn't feel like I was stuffing myself either. I just kept eating and eating! Man, stress just sucks. I'm pretty sure that an entire bag of popcorn is not great for my blood sugar, but I guess it's better than a Snickers, right? I actually feel slightly hungry right now. Either George is really hungry or my body's going through a growth spurt or I'm having a severe reaction to stress!

Well, I can tell that the stress is lifting slightly, though, so that's good. My mood has improved dramatically since this morning. Hopefully I'll be nicer to be around this weekend.

A funny story: On Sunday, I put Megan down for her nap and when Marc went upstairs to get something he found her with my makeup all over her face! I should have taken a picture, but I was consumed with making sure she knew she had done something bad. Plus, I get my makeup from Clinique and all I could think about was how expensive that foundation is that she just wasted!

On a side note, I don't feel so bad about splurging on Clinique for some of my makeup because for me it lasts pretty long. I think the foundation that I'm still using is one Mom gave me for Christmas. So it's lasted a good six or seven months and would have lasted several more months if Megan hadn't gotten into it!

Anyway, point of this whole story is that I just got a notice that it's bonus time at Clinique, so I'm going to drag the kids the 45 min. to Columbia tomorrow and get some new foundation and go ahead and get Marcus some new shoes since he's begging for them. It's a little earlier than I want, but I'm going to splurge (like I used to) and get good shoes instead of going to Payless. It's only been a couple months since I got his last pair of shoes and the Velcro is already worn out and he hates to wear them. And they're Spiderman, who is like a god in our house, so for Marcus to shun something Spiderman is pretty significant.

Anyway, so at least that has the potential to be something fun this weekend. Maybe I'll get the laundry out of the way tonight. Maybe.

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